Knowing how to Kiss….

Knowing how to kiss is highly important. Although I never trust a man who says “I am a great kisser”. I promise that anyone who engages in proud advertising will be the worst kisser. People who are really good at what they do do not need to sell it. It’s about connection. Animal’s get that. It’s an expression of love. And don’t get me started with a man who won’t get his face near a dog. That might be more of a turn off than a bad kisser. The dogs tongue is cleaner than a humans and if a man is disgusted by it, warning- he may be way too anal. Don’t get me wrong- I have made some HUGE mistakes by kissing one of my dogs so much he finally bit my face. Really bad. I still have a scar from that. Poor thing was just an old diabetic, cranky dog and I was smothering him. I learned my lesson. Take it SLOW. Even with animals. However, I will have you know I have been bit by a man kissing me too. It was like- the end of EVERY kiss ended with my lips being punctured by his upper and lower teeth. Maybe he had an overbite. Maybe he was just really hungry. But it hurt and trying to tell a man to stop biting me every time he leaned over for a kiss was something I was not willing to do. At my age I have stopped trying to train dogs or men. So I ended the short term romance with the biter. Made up something about needing to focus more on my career, or I needed a break from teeth. Can’t remember. And I wish more men knew that kissing is not a like riding a bike- it is different with every person, and should be earned and have some kind of build-up. Do you know that when a dog licks you he is releasing pleasurable endorphins that relax and calm him? I mean, isn’t that endorphin rush what we all look for in a kiss? I think a kiss is one of the most intimate experiences one can have, and with the opposite sex- should be treated as such.

Dogs lick for affection, but also out of anxiety, or to appease and submit. Trust me, I have experienced those kisses from many “special” dates I have been on. There is the anxious kiss- he kisses you in a bit of a rush and hopes for a connection….the insecure kiss where he ASKS you if he can kiss you? Come on men- if you can not tell that the girl wants to kiss you, then it probably would be a NO. But can’t hurt to try. Then there is the obligated kiss when they walk you to the door where you both hope there will automatically be a spark once tongues touch. Oh, and speaking of tongues, that can RUIN a kiss- Please use it sparingly- but please USE it. I dated a man for a bit where the phrase “cat got your tongue?” became a REAL question. Every single woman in the world will tell you that if a man can does NOT know how to kiss- the woman will NOT want to go further. It should be a magical moment. A build-up. He should hold your head in his hands (not like a football, please) slowly brush your hair back, and gently kiss you. If he managed at least that much, it should then build to a little tongue every now and then, as the passion grows. Then full on fireworks…and back to slow again. .. Maybe throw in a soft bite once in a while. God please not every time. Lips need to be appreciated and kissed, not eaten. It’s a dance. A beautiful dance that can take you to new heights. But if a man can’t dance….( or woman for that matter) it’s a losing battle.
So I will end this post on my strong opinion about Kissing…and I have done enough research, trust me. Still researching in fact ( only for my special kissing study) is this… If you can not make-out with the guy, if that is not what you love to do for at least the first month, just end it. Ain’t gonna happen. Chemistry 101.  By the way- what happened to making-out for hours? We all did it in high school?? I believe my parents called it “necking”. As well as Giraffes. (See my giraffe blog post) )

Have we become such an A.D.D. society, with such little patience, that we need to rush past kissing so soon? I know that of the few men I have fallen madly in love with, (accent on FEW) kissing was one of their top qualities. In fact the kissing was so utterly breathtaking that it masked some real lame traits of theirs, and once I was melted in their kiss- I justified their disfunction quite easily. Listen, I will never tell you I am a good kisser. That would be going against my sermon here about never advertising your kissing skills… but I know what a connection is. I know when a man locks eyes, holds on to the electric moment, and you feel yourself leave your body once it happens. This is what we are going for people. Even my chihuahua takes his time before he licks my face. And he has no problem just kissing and snuggling all night long. As Prince says (or “artist formerly known as”- is he back to being a symbol again?) “Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with, I just want some EXTRA time in your……KISS.”

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